日本50%夫妻是“无性婚姻”，日本男人爱去“风俗店”嫖娼叫鸡，却不愿跟妻子过“性生活”

很多日本夫妇婚后生活是无性的。

下面我会说说“无性”的定义和它的普遍程度。

据日本性科学协会（JSSS）的定义，“无性”是指夫妻双方间，无医学生理上的原因，超过一个月没有发生性行为的生活。

如果你每一个半月发生一次关系，就会被认定为“无性”。当然，“性亲密”的定义也应该被扩大。

考虑到这一点，日本计划生育协会（JFPA）在2014年，对16-49岁年龄段的3000名男士女士进行了调查，结果显示，44.6%的已婚被访者被认为是“无性”的（超过一个月没有啪啪啪）。

西方国家的调查，可能会有所不同：无性婚姻是指每年性亲密次数少于10次的婚姻。

在美国，全国健康和社会生活的调查显示，20%的美国夫妇是无性婚姻。

所以，日本接近50%的无性夫妇PK美国20%的无性夫妇。

看来，日本有更高比例的无性夫妇。

当被问到为什么的时候，有以下的这些回应：

男性：
工作疲倦：21.3%
其他原因：16.9%
生过孩子等原因：15.7%
妻子目前怀孕或产后：11.2%  
太多的工作/麻烦：10.1%
太熟悉（感觉像家人而不是异性）：10.1%  
伴侣用不起来：7.9%
其他活动更有趣（兴趣爱好等）：4.5%
对勃起功能障碍感到紧张：1.1%
没有答案：1.1%

女性：
太多的工作/麻烦：23.8%
工作疲倦：17.8%
生过孩子等原因：16.8%
其他：13%
怀孕或产后：9.7%
其他活动更有趣（兴趣爱好等）：5.9%
太熟悉（感觉像家人而不是异性）：5.4%
伴侣用不起来：3.2%
没有答案：4.3%

所以，罪魁祸首是这些：
1  工作疲倦，太多的工作/烦恼  
长时间的工作、通勤、做家务和养育孩子，是日本夫妇无性生活的最大原因。不是说他们不喜欢性，而是他们太累了，宁愿睡觉和休息。
2  生完孩子没有动力/感觉像是家人  
许多夫妇生完孩子后，就会进入无性生活，这在西方也是常见的。夫妇结合成家庭后，共同养育孩子，许多人都说，他们已经视伴侣为家人了，是他们孩子的父亲、母亲，而不再是使人性奋的伴侣。当然，这不是说他们不爱对方了。

调查中，男性回答“其他原因”的比例非常高16.9%。如果是Brandon Holmes提到的那样，部分原因归咎于不忠，那我就不会感到惊讶。但与此同时，现实地讲，人到了一定的年纪，找外遇是非常难的，所以我不认为不忠的行为是那么普遍的。除了不忠外，在另一项调查中，有些男性表示，他们更喜欢“风俗”，即夜间娱乐，可能不一定会有卖淫，但风俗店是可以为男性提供性服务的。有些男人过去被妻子拒绝后，他们就说再也不会尝试求欢了。
对日本人来说，身体交流是非常罕见的。传统上，婚后我们不会拥抱或者握手。很多夫妇都有独立的床。所以在长时间的工作、做家务之后，可能几个月时间都不会碰对方。

除此之外，文化上，我们被教导要慎言，一个言辞很多的人，一定不能把重要的事情说出去。所以，许多夫妇一旦感到舒服的话，就会安静下来，彼此很少交谈。另外，我们没有太多的性教育，我们也没有有益的积极的强化措施。随着这些因素堆积在一起，对日本夫妇来说，谈论性就会变得越来越困难。
专家说，近些年来，越来越多的女性因为缺乏性生活而变得抑郁，她们觉得自己好像被拒之门外了。衷心希望，日本的性教育和夫妻交流能够改善。

Brandon Holmes, Currently live in Tokyo, lived off and on in Japan past 20 years
Answered Jun 28, 2016
Yes it’s absolutely true, but the truth is many marriages around the world are sexless. A better way to phrase it would be a higher percentage of Japanese marriages are sexless than American marriages.
I think that most people would agree that many marriages are sexless worldwide so a few points on why it’s more prent in Japan’s culture than the United States. My explanations will be brief as really this could be the topic of an entire dissertation.
Low divorce rate due societal views on divorce. Unhappy in a US marriage? No biggie, file for divorce. Unhappy in a Japanese marriage? Tough luck or wear a scarlet letter D on your forehead for the rest of your life. It is of course becoming more common and view among the younger generation leading the way but still nothing compared to the US.
Availability of pornography. Prior to the Internet, pornography was not uncommon but it wasn’t mainstream either. Availability is much higher in Japan. Pretty much every single video store even in rural areas would have an AV section.
Views on sex and sexuality. Every group and culture has different things they find attractive in the opposite sex for different reasons. In Western cultures, the or one of the most attractive traits is if someone is sexy. Subjective term for sure. If you ever spent more than 10 seconds in Japan, you can easily understand “kawaii” (cute) reigns supreme. While girls with millions of followers on Instagram often post pictures which look more appropriate for a gentlemen’s club dancer, the cuteness implies that the person is pure, nice and wholesome.
Sexuality in the mainstream media. While on primetime TV in the US you couldn’t go a single night where a show has a couple having sex in various locations including the work closet and showing a good part of the action, you will still very, very rarely see a couple engaging in any physical activity even kissing. This isn’t to say sometimes it MIGHT be implied but think of Leave it to Beaver.
Longer work hours and very grueling commutes. While commute times in SoCA can get extremely long, commuting via 3 pack trains, a bus and a short walk is much more draining than an hour in a car. Imagine an hour or more on your feet, walking and standing twice a day, 6–7 days a week. I find the commute actually is the absolute worse thing about working in Japan. It’s not bad off peak times or if you can get a seat but I don’t go a day without thinking of leaving Tokyo every time I commute home. Sex is the last thing on my mind. Getting home by 7 is considered early. Average is between 7:30–10:30 with some still normally returning closer to midnight only to wake up at 5:30 to repeat the process.
Definition/function/interpretation of Marriage. In Japan there are two types of marriage, omiai (arranged) and renai (love). It has to do with how the people meet. Regardless, in my experience both still view marriage as more of a social function or agreement rather than the Western view of love and soul mates. Just like in the olden days of the US, marriage was much about function. Having kids, the man makes the money and the wife takes care of the kids and home. In fact, after the couple have children they call each other mother and father even when the children are not present. Having a connection to the person, communication, and love are far less important than things like duty and consideration.
Very high rates of infidelity. While people openly talking about dating a married person or having a girlfriend is still largely taboo in the US, it is still quite common for people to talk about it openly because of how common it is. I asked my wife if she knew a single married man that she felt confident never had a girlfriend and she could not name a single one. Either they were known to have one, did have one or didn’t know them well enough to know definitely one way or the other. Of all the Japanese people I know close enough to be privy to such information it is the same case. I largely view it as a product of both their view of marriage and divorce.
Sleeping separately is the norm. Most couples sleep either on separate futons, separate beds or even separate bedrooms. The later is not that uncommon. Of course younger couples have less distance between them and the older ones the most up to including sleeping on a separate floor or wing of the house.

是的，绝对是真的。
但实际上，世界上的许多婚姻都是无性的，更好的说法是，日本无性婚姻的比例比美国更高。我认为大多数人都会同意，世界上有许多的无性婚姻。所以，下面说几点，为什么这种情况在日本比美国要普遍。我的解释尽可能的简练，都可以拿去当论文的标题了。

1  日本社会对离婚人士的偏见导致了低离婚率。
在美国，婚姻不快乐？没什么大不了，离婚去。在日本，婚姻不快乐？运气不好，只能认栽，在你的余生，额头上绑着一条红字布条决志。当然， 日本的年轻一代中，离婚会比较平常，但跟美国还是比不了。

2  触手可及的色情音像品。
没互联网的时候，色情音像品虽不少见，但也不是主流。但在日本就更普遍了。

几乎每个音像店，都会有专门的AV区域。

3  对性的看法。
由于不同的原因，每个群体和文化，在异性身上都会感动不同的吸引力。西方文化中，最吸引人的特征就是：这个人很性感。当然这是很主观的。如果你在日本呆上10秒钟，你就很容易感受到“卡哇伊”（可爱）才是至高无上的。虽然Instagram（照片墙）上的女生有几百万的粉丝，经常发一些适合绅士舞者的照片，但日本文化里，可爱意味着这个人是纯洁的、善良的和健康的。

4  电视黄金时间段的性。
在美国，黄金时间段的电视节目时，夜晚你是不可能独自过的，夫妇会在各种不同的地方亲密，包括工作的壁橱，展示不一样的技巧。但在日本，你很少看到他们进行身体接触，甚至接吻都不会有。这可不是说，日本人有时候的含蓄，是要把性留给河狸的。

5 工作时间更长，通勤非常辛苦。
换乘三辆列车、一辆公交车和一段短途步行，跟开车一小时相比，这样的通勤方式，耗费的时间绝对要多得多。想象以下，超过一个小时走着、站着，每天两次，一周6-7天。我发现，在日本工作，上下班通勤是最糟糕的事情。高峰时间你能抢到座位的话，也还算不错。但每天上下班的时候，我就想要离开东京。这时候，性在我心中排在最后了。晚上七点到家已经算是早的了。通常到家时间是在7点半到10点半之间，有时候会折腾到半夜才到家，然后第二天早上五点半起来，再重复这个过程。

6  婚姻的定义、功能和解释。
在日本，婚姻有两种类型，一种是包办婚姻，一种是爱情婚姻。这跟人们的相遇方式有关。不管怎么说，我的经验来看，日本的婚姻更像是一种社会功能或协议，而不是西方人认为的那种爱情和灵魂伴侣。就像旧时候的美国，婚姻更多的是社会功能：养育孩子、男人赚钱、妻子照顾孩子和料理家务。有了孩子之后，孩子不在场的时候，他们会打电话给各自的父母。日本人看来，与人沟通、交流和爱，远没有义务和关心来得重要。

7  劈腿的概率很高。
在美国，公开谈论与已婚人士的约会、或者已婚的找了个女朋友，这些仍然是禁忌。但是在日本，这些都是很普遍的。我问过我的妻子，问她是否认识一个单身的结过婚的男人、并且确定他找不到女朋友的人，结果她说不出一个来。要么他们知道这么一个人，但是对他有不那么了解。我天天混在日本人中，所以知道这些道道。我主要把这种现象，看作是他们对婚姻观和离婚观观点的产物。

8  夫妻分开睡是常态。
大多数夫妇，他们睡在单独的被褥里、单独的床上、甚至单独的卧室里。后者并不少见。当然，年轻夫妇之间的距离会很小，但是老一代，大多数都是睡在不同的房间、阁楼。

Manish Mirani, lives in Japan
Answered Sep 2
I think I can comment on this one. Japanese do have sex but in many cases it is not with their married partners.In my 7 years of stay in Japan and having met Japanese men of different age groups and from different walks of life, I just came across only one guy who resisted visiting “fuzoku” (brothel) or any related activities on business trip. I can confidently say that most Japanese men will cheat without a second thought, if given a chance. Exchanging reviews of fuzoku, snack-bars etc is one of most interesting chat topics for Japanese men after work. Most of them don't find it wrong as long as their wives don't find out.
Surprisingly, a lot of Japanese take pride in sleeping around with women and love to brag about it. Lack of communication, spending time and good relationship between couples are some of the reasons of infidelity in Japan. Likewise, many women are also equally involved and they don't find anything wrong with it as long as it does not involve love and disrupts their family. The number of people involved in extramarital affairs in Japan is shockingly huge and it is sort of indirectly encouraged, at least amongst men.

我想我可以对此事发表下评论。日本人有性行为，但是许多情况下，不是和他们的已婚伴侣。我在日本逗留了7年，见过各个年龄段的、各个行业的日本男人，我刚碰到个出差的日本人，他拒绝去风俗店（妓院）等相关场所。我敢打包票，如果真给这样的机会的话，大多数日本男人会不假思索地去。对日本男人来说，下班后最有趣的事情，就是谈论风俗店、小吃店等话题。只要他们的老婆不知道，他们中的大多数人就不会觉得这是错的。

令人惊讶的是，很多日本人因和别的女人睡觉而感到自豪，而且喜欢拿出了吹嘘。日本夫妻之间的不忠，主要原因是双方缺乏沟通、缺乏在一起的时间、缺乏良好的关系。同样的，很多女性也参与其中，只要不产生爱情、不破坏家庭，她们就不会觉得有什么不妥。日本参与婚外情的人数是惊人的，至少在男人中间，这种行为被间接鼓励了。

英文原文：www.quora.com/Is-it-true-that-many-Japanese-couples-are-sexless-after-marriage-Why